#BookReview ‘Other Girls Like Me’ by Stephanie Davies

About the book…

Till now, Stephanie has done her best to play by the rules—which seem to be stacked against girls like her. It doesn’t help that she wants to play football, dress like a boy, and fight apartheid in South Africa—despite living in rural middle England—as she struggles to find her voice in a world where everything is different for girls.

Then she hears them on the radio. Greenham women—an irreverent group of lesbians, punk rockers, mothers, and activists who have set up camp outside a US military base to protest nuclear war—are calling for backups in the face of imminent eviction from their muddy tents. She heads there immediately, where a series of adventures—from a break-in to a nuclear research centre to a doomed love affair with a punk rock singer in a girl band—changes the course of her life forever. But the sense of community she has found is challenged when she faces tragedy at home.

I read the first 200 pages of Other Girls Like Me in one sitting, I couldn’t put it down. It’s my story and yet it’s not. It speaks to all of us radicals, feminists, and lesbians who grew up in the 70s and 80s. Stephanie’s warmth and compassion shine through these pages. What a life!” —

NERI TANNENBAUM, PRODUCER, ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK

“Other Girls Like Me is funny and sad, powerful and inspirational, especially in these times that are calling for all of us to become activists. And Stephanie Davies can write. Her prose is lyrical, even at times mesmerizing.” — BEVERLY DONOFRIO, RIDING IN CARS WITH BOYS

“Other Girls Like Me is about women being concerned about the horrors in our world and being willing to protest and take nonviolent direct action – which is a very good thing. I do hope that lots of people read it and are inspired to take action themselves!” — ANGIE ZELTER, FOUNDER, EXTINCTION REBELLION PEACE

“Other Girls Like Me is a lyrical, fluent and elegant read—it is also funny and poignant in equal measure. In the pre Greta Thunberg era, this personal account of one young woman’s journey into activism is captivating and compelling—and a salient reminder of how the power and solidarity of communities of people with shared values can shape and change our lives—for good!” — ANN LIMB, CHAIR OF THE SCOUTS, #1 2019 OUTSTANDING LIST OF LGBT+ PUBLIC SECTOR EXECUTIVES

Many thanks to Bei Guo of Midas PR for inviting me to read this coming of age memoir, ‘‘Other Girls Like Me’ by Stephanie Davies, which is out now from Bedazzled Ink.

It’s a timeframe I can easily recognise, as a woman in my 40’s, a time of cultural and political upheaval paired with a growing conciousness of global issues.

From the idyllic sounding village that Steph was transplanted to when her father took up his job as a headmaster in the local school, to her burgeoning awareness of inequality, it is clear that the actions and words of her family left her conflicted between being true to herself, and what she was expected to be.

Incredibly disturbing incidents are recorded as if they were the norm, refelcting the value placed on girls and women at the time-she was , as a teen, asked to change her roller skating route to bypass her father’s best friend’s house so he could see , basically whether she had grown into the beauty he had expected her to. She was grabbed and kissed by a schoolteacher whislt another looked on and did not intervene. Her father, whilst encouraging her to be aware of global issues, also kept soft core pornography in the family bookshelves, would not let her play football as it was strictly for boys and expected her to take languages to increase her chances of being a secretary.

This gap between what she wanted, and what she was led to believe she could achieve, was filled with the flames of resistance and rebellion, as she found her voice and began to use it. Setting up her own football team contrasts with giving up her sporting ambitions to earn money for clothes and makeup.

She eloquently defines the circumstances in which her politcial activism was nurtured, and her burgeoning sense of self took shape in a recognisable and infuriating climate that placed little to no value on girls and women. They were adjuncts to, or conduits for, relationships with men and this is further enhanced by reactions-both private and public-to her eventual realisation that she is a lesbian. Harrassed, verbally assaulted, banned from pubs and physically attacked, all of these experiences are laid out with no sense of pity or ‘that’s just the way it was back then’ whitewashing. The contrasting environment which she finds herself in at Greenham ticks all her boxes-she does not need to be in South Africa to fight apartheid or the US to fight inequality, there are ways and means of stepping outside the system in order to stand against it.

The way that these women band together, create a society and culture unique to them and refuse to bow down, is not presented as an idyll, it is a warts and all stepping away from norms, comforts, and embrace of home as the notion of ‘belonging‘ changes. It embraces her need to be seen as an individual, her need to part of something bigger than what she came from and how she grows from planting this seed of self-awareness.

There is no glossing over the violence the women at Greenham face, the way they are threatened by soldiers, police and men whilst also acknowledging those allies who support their fundamental message to stop nuclear testing. This is not a women versus men argument, it’s a condemnation of the patriachal society and associated systems which encourages the men to behave badly in order to keep the women from stepping into the light, and affecting change.

The personal and public intertwine as Steph engages in occasional polygamous relationships with women, and finds herself pulled back home due to devastating family news. Her search for meaning in her life being achieved through her fight for meaning in the lives of others is not an altruistic one, she is the first to note the misteps taken along the way to finding her essential self. However, her sheer bravery in her honest appraisal of her growth is so relatable, so well constructed, that her whole life is a journey fitted into exactly the right amount of pages, yet there a wistful sense of loss when this memoir comes to an end. You want more, and that is when you begin to reflect on your experiences growing up as a woman in the UK, the things which made you the person that you are today, and the room you make to continue to grow.

You as an individual,are a constant work in progress and by examining your essential moral codes and identifying the battles which you want to fight for equality, choice and freedom, you come full circle, as Steph does. It feels like leaving behind a friend when you finish ‘Other Girls Like Me’

However, this is just the start, as she points out the circuitous nature of society,culture and activism, the way we find the place where we truly can feel home, and the family that we choose to gather around us. By opening ourselves to possibility, and refusing to bow down to the expectations of others,there is a chance of liberation both for ourselves, and for others.

About the author…

Stephanie Davies is a communications consultant who worked for many years as the Director of Public Education for Doctors Without Borders. A UK native, Stephanie moved to New York in 1991, where she taught English Composition at Long Island University’s Brooklyn campus and led research trips to Cuba. Before moving to New York, she co-edited a grassroots LGBT magazine in Brighton called A Queer Tribe. Stephanie earned a teaching degree from Aberystwyth University in Wales, and a BA in European Studies from Bath University, England. She grew up in a small rural village in Hampshire, where much of her first book, Other Girls Like Me, takes place.

Twitter @Stephanie5Davie @BedazzledInk @midaspr