#BookReview ‘At Dark I Become Loathsome’ by Eric LaRocca

About the book…

From the Bram Stoker Award-finalist and Splatterpunk Award-winner of Things Have Gotten Worse Since Last We Spoke,( review and purchase link here ) a grim yet gentle, horrifying yet hopeful tale of grief, trauma, and love.

If you’re reading this, you’ve likely thought that the world would be a better place without you.

A single line of text, glowing in the darkness of the internet. Written by Ashley Lutin, who has often thought that, and worse, in the years since his wife died and his young son disappeared. But the peace of the grave is not for Ashley—it’s for those he can help. Ashley Lutin has constructed a peculiar ritual for those whose desire to die is at war with their yearning to live a better life.

Struggling to overcome his never-ending grief, one night Ashley connects with Jinx, who spins a tale both revolting and fascinating. This begins a relationship that traps the men in a tightening spiral of painful revelations, where long-hidden secrets are dragged, kicking and screaming, into the light. Only through pain can we find healing. Only through death can we find life.

”I long to be cradled by the hands of darkness, to be fed into the gaping maw of infinity where the human body is a lyric that the night-time sings again and again until apocalypse enters with music to drown out the symphony of suffering”

Many thanks to the wonderful team at Titan for my gifted review copy of ‘At Dark I Become Loathsome’

It is due to be published on 28th January 25 in glorious hardcover and e-book formats.

If this is your first LaRocca, I am the teensiest bit jealous, it is difficult to describe the expoerience you are about to put yourself through, other than to say that there is a unique and unforgettable time ahead of you.

For those revisiting their work, it is akin to offering yourself up to be eviscerated, and enjoying the feeling of submission.

The story is about a widower, Ashley Lutin, who has first lost his wife to cancer, and then lost their son to a kidnapper. 2 years later and he is still occupying this liminal space where he hovers between waiting for news that his son is alive or not, treading water by the day and doing horrific things by night in an attempt to release others from their suffering.

Once an artist whose creative output is there for everyone to see, his art has changed to become something unspeakable, ephemeral and something for an individual to experience rather than made for public consumption. He does to others what he cannot do for himself-affords them release via a ritual of his own making.

At dark he becomes loathsome, but as a reader it is up to you to decide whether his self analysis is correct, and whether he is loathsome, all the time.

His grief and trauma is so integral to his sense of identity that he has altered his external appearance to reflect his ingoing torture and make him appear uncomfortable to others.

I wish I could remember who said that grief is the price we pay for love, and this is exactly what Eric explores in this book-how do you go on living when everything you loved is missing and gone?

Ashley’s redemption comes from an online connection with an anonymous man who leads him even deeper  into the dark.

It is phenomenal, unforgettable and deeply moving, I am so grateful to have been able to read it.

About the author…

About the author…

Eric LaRocca (he/they) is the author of several works of horror and dark fiction, including the viral sensation Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke.

He is an active member of the Horror Writers Association and currently resides in Boston, MA with his partner.

Links-https://ericlarocca.com/

Twitter @hystericteeth @TitanBooks @TalkScaredPod

You can listen to Eric being interviewed on the highly recommended and rather brilliant, Talking Scared Podcast here