#Spooktober ‘Gil’s All Fright Diner’ by A.Lee Martinez

About the book…

Bloodier than Fried Green Tomatoes!
Funnier than The Texas Chainsaw Massacre!

Welcome to Gil’s All Night Diner, where zombie attacks are a regular occurrence and you never know what might be lurking in the freezer. . . .

Duke and Earl are just passing through Rockwood county in their pick-up truck when they stop at the diner for a quick bite to eat. They aren’t planning to stick around–until Loretta, the eatery’s owner, offers them one hundred dollars to take care of her zombie problem. Given that Duke is a werewolf and Earl’s a vampire, this looks right up their alley.

But the shambling dead are just the tip of a particularly spiky iceberg. Seems someone’s out to drive Loretta from the diner, and more than willing to raise a little hell on earth if that’s what it takes. Before Duke and Earl get to the bottom of the diner’s troubles, they’ll run into such otherworldly complications as undead cattle, an amorous ghost, a jailbait sorceress, and the terrifying occult power of pig Latin.

And maybe–just maybe–the End of the World, too.

Gory, sexy, and flat-out hilarious, ‘Gil’s All Fright Diner’ will tickle your funny bone–before ripping it out of its socket!

‘NOW 100% ZOMBIE FREE,ASK ABOUT THE BOTTOMLESS CUP OF COFFEE:ONLY 25 CENTS!’

To be fair, that synopsis is not wrong!

It’s a buddy tale of a supernatural sort, Duke of the werewolves and Earl of the vampires are like an existential duo crossed with ‘The Littlest Hobo’, a road trip with extra blood and teeth. And maybe an apocalypse or two.

Duke and Earl are companions by circumstance, rather than choice, at the start, driving in a beat up truck and their dynamic is seen that Earl is the brains of the op whilst Duke is the muscles. And forget the twinkly vampire/muscle ripped werewolf trope, Duke is an overweight, hunk of a man mountain who is incapable of growing a beard , whilst Earl is tall, pale (as expected) and has a bad comb over an obviously bald head. They are tired, grumpy, and make the decision to stop at Gil’s Diner for food.

The empty diner, run by the formidable Loretta , has found its clientele have dropped off a cliff thanks to the regular influx of the living dead. The nearby cemetery coughs up its dead, which would imply, as it is no longer used, there would be a finite number of zombies. But Loretta has dispatched over three times what the cemetery holds. So where are these flesh eaters coming from?

The price of a mediocre cup of chilli, a greasy burger and a coffee is killing the undead, which Loretta doesn’t seem overly concerned by, as it is happening so often. She hires our friendly neighbourhood monsters to dig a gas pipe, and investigate what the hell is going on. Grumbling aside, they decide to stick around for a while…

The banter between these two is just priceless, Earl is forever ripping on Duke for not having a ‘clear mind’ , just because he has read a book on Dianetics, whilst Duke is treated to the uncomfortable experience of feeling like prey, as Loretta has set her sights on a bit of man wolf action.

It turns out that the nearby town of Rockwood has a larger than usual amount of supernatural occurrences, which the pair find bizarre, but take in their stride. The town Sheriff has no problem with accepting a vampire and a werewolf, as he has dealt with vampire turkeys, a haunted Wacky Willie’s Goofy Golf course, Chupacabra infestations and so forth.

And now, Sheriff Kopp has to deal with a cult, a potential apocalypse courtesy of a 18 year old girl inhabited by Lilith, Mistress Of The Dark. But she only has an abridged Necronomicon , a horny boyfriend that she has plans for (and not sexy ones) and a half nine curfew to obey. It sucks when trying to open a porthole for the older gods and your father won’t let you go out to play.

This is genuinely a super fun read, it’s not often that you read a book which makes you laugh as much as this does, it is a kind of supernatural Hap and Leonard, but here there is a cosmic horror mystery to be solved, there is a brief back story about how Earl and Duke met, and I would love to know more about their other adventures. Highly recommended!

About the author…